What's going on with Ziva? Facing hard truths.

Ziva and I participated in our 9th NW3 this last weekend.  The trial site could not have been more beautiful, nor the trial run more efficiently.  The weather in Sedona, Arizona, was absolutely gorgeous, just a little nippy in the morning, perfect for us midwestern folk.

Coming into this, I had high hopes.  Ziva has 1.5 NW3 titles, needing three for her "Elite."  If we could get a clean title here and another leg at the trial in Benson in February, we could meet that goal.  And surely she could.  With no errors, you earn a full NW3, with one error, you earn a "leg," effectively half a title, and we'd never had more than two errors in a trial -- we'd been SO close so many times!  I felt like I knew what our weak points were -- getting tired at the end of the day and not keeping focus, rushing past a hide in order to cover a large space, having mixed communication -- and we'd worked on those things.  

We stayed overnight for this trial, so had plenty of time to get ready and only a short drive the morning of the trial.  We were #1 on the run order, which is fine with me, I'd much rather get going.  We made it through the first four searches with no "No"s and I felt good about the day.

We did get a "no" on pooling odor on vehicles on the 5th search. We weren't the only ones, but it was a disappointment.  Still, we could get a leg, I thought.  

But as we waited for the final search, I noticed Ziva's back legs were trembling with fatigue.  She was rocked back onto the pad of her foot, with her toes sticking up in the air.  She gave me no other indication that she wasn't up for this and charged off the start line.  Checking a nearby utility box, she came up under it and hit her head.  Hard.  I asked if she was okay and then said "but was there something there?"  And, bless her heart, she stuck her nose under and clonked her head again.

We moved on and I tried to gauge how she was doing, but my heart was sinking.  She nosed both ends of a bench and looked at me, questions plain in her eyes, and I called 'alert' and got a No.  So we were done for the day, but could keep searching.

But I looked at Ziva and she said "I'm so sorry, but I'm tired.  I'm tired and my feet hurt and my legs hurt and now my head hurts.  And I just wish I was back at home.  Can we go home?" 

So I said that we were retiring from the field.  And as we walked away, my heart broke and I sobbed, because I realized this really was the end for us.  Not because we failed an NW3 but because she wasn't having fun anymore -- this format, with the six searches and long walks and long day -- is just too much for her at this point.  I'm sad to let the dream go, but heartbroken at the thought that my constant partner is facing physical limitations.  It's SO not fair!

Ziva will be 11 in March.  A lot of people -- a lot of Veterinarians who have seen her -- seem to feel her physical condition is perfectly normal for her age.  As someone who's had Standard Poodles for 25 years, I know they are wrong; my dogs have typically been able to bounce up onto the bed right up to the very end, which should be at least 13 or 14 years if some bastard like hemangiosarcoma doesn't get involved.  Arguably the best measure, Ziva's littermates, and especially her closest buddy, Pippa, with whom we spend lots of time, do not have similar problems.  

Ziva began presenting with intermittent lameness in 2018.  One morning in November, she couldn't put weight on one front leg, so we sped to the teaching hospital at U. Wisconsin.  The Ortho department tested her for absolutely everything, with x-ray and ultrasound and joint taps.  They couldn't find anything.  

The limping seemed to resolve once she was diagnosed with IBD in January of 2019.  Then we had the pandemic and moved to Arizona, but in the winter of 2021, I was determined to try to figure out what seemed to be making it uncomfortable for her to stand or sit for any period of time.  We saw a Canine Sports Medicine Specialist in Scottsdale, who was also mystified until she looked very closely at the full-body x-rays.  Dr. Chun said that Ziva has mineralization (most likely calcification) at every tendon insertion point in every leg.  This is typically something seen when a tendon is over-stretched and tiny, hard particles form in an over-reaction to the injury.  If it is uncomfortable enough, surgery is done to remove the spiny bits.  However, Dr. Chun had never seen it in ALL the tendons before.  She theorized that this was a systemic response of some sort and referred us to an internal medicine specialist.

That doctor was quite dismissive of Ziva's situation.  He said that we were lucky to have managed her IBD and keep her alive as long as we had.  He had no idea why her body was attacking her tendons but said infirmity was only to be expected, given her age and health history.

We were lucky enough to get into four NW3 trials since then, and to get two legs.  And I thought we were going to be able to keep trying.  Right up until last Saturday.

Ziva loves the game.  And she would be mortally insulted not to get to Go with me, wherever I go.  That's been the norm for the last 11 years -- she has been through eight years of Junior College, after all!  So we'll continue to take classes and train.  She seemed to enjoy her Detective attempts in October, so we'll keep doing those as long as we can, and then there's always AKC Elite legs and UKC Grand Champion legs and online challenges.

But for now, I'm just so sad.  I wish I knew how to help my beautiful, sweet, imperious, fabulous companion, and I don't.  And I wish her NACSW journey hadn't ended this way.