That which was lost now has been found

 Ziva had her first AKC Detective run on Sunday.  We missed two hides.  It was fabulous.

We attempted Detective for the first time in October of 2021.  We only had Master Exterior at that point, so were a bit early to enter, but there were openings so what the heck?  It was a great weekend with four trials.  On one, we found all the hides but timed out because I hadn't ever actually tried to use my stopwatch before and was in the "search until you die" mode of having no idea whether or not we'd cleared the area.  On another, we had a fringe on odor blowing across the tops of a bunch of open water bottles (great setup, kudos to that judge!).  On another, we got a "where" on the wrong end of an 8' table (oops).  And... we passed and got a Detective leg.

Our next outing was only a few weeks later, but, somehow, we'd lost our mojo.  The first search featured a seemingly endless sea of patio tables and chairs.  You know that part of Disney's Sorcerer's Apprentice where the brooms keep dividing themselves and coming at you with buckets (I'm sorry, but if you don't know what I mean, I don't think we can be friends)?  That's what the tables did in that search.  In the end, I'd spent 90% of the allotted time on the damned patio and, poof, we were done.  

The next search was out of a different nightmare.  My comment at the time was that it was like singing Karaoke but the words you're seeing don't match the song.  It had a terrifying dreamlike quality to it.   

We got to try again in February of 2022, just after Ziva finished her SWM.  No one passed either Detective trial that was offered, but I took the failure personally, nonetheless, sure that everyone else had at least come closer than we did.  I began to fear we were completely inadequate for Detective.  

Over the summer, Ziva completed her UKC Novice Grand Championship and started working on NACSW NW3s.  We were lucky enough to get into a BUNCH of those trials.  She earned one NW3 title and had a lot of "SO close!" finishes.   She had a flare-up of her IBD, which we beat back into submission; we learned she had massive resorption of her tooth roots and had to have 6 teeth pulled;  and a veterinary sports medicine specialist finally identified the likely cause of her intermittent limping and stiffness over the last 4 years: calcification of the tendon and ligament tissue on all four of her legs.  Sadly, the cause is unknown and there's no treatment.  

We got into two Detective trials in January, 2023, but pulled when Ziva had the (unexpectedly major) dental surgery.  We didn't enter another set because I didn't feel comfortable with the safety of the trial site.  And then, we got extraordinarily lucky and were able to get into a single trial at the Sonoran Desert Scent Work Club trial in Tucson.  Our coach, Aleks Woodroffe, was judging.

A knowledgeable Nosework friend invited us over for an extremely generous practice a few days before the trial.  She set up two full Detective searches, complete with interior and exterior areas.  I was able to safely run Ziva off leash, just like in a trial.  And, oh my gosh, but did we ever stink the place up.  Ziva wandered around, occasionally checking in as if to say "what are we doing here, again?"  She may have found a couple of things, but the elaborate practice was completely wasted on her.  Littermate Pippa, entered at the same trial to finish her Excellent title, did a much more comprehensive job on both searches.  It was Awful.  

As the date of the trial (March, 2023) loomed closer, I became more and more fatalistic.  Was Ziva ill?  Was she past her ability to handle the big Detective areas?  Did she want to retire and just dabble with easier stuff?   Would we be a laughing stock, or, worse, the subject of bitter comments about people who take up highly-coveted spots with unprepared and incapable dogs?  If Ziva just ambled around the space, not finding anything, what was I going to do?  

I decided that if she could just find SOMETHING, it would be a huge step forward.  So that's what I would try for -- to just find a hide.  And as for not deserving to be there, well, maybe that was true, but, gosh darn it, we DID get in, so we were going to run and just try to have a good time.  

Our staging went poorly.  While no one threw rotten fruit at us, let's just say that I take every comment too personally and give the wrong people space in my head rent free.  As a result, rather than taking a moment to breathe at the start line and connect with my dog, I rushed the start.  Rather than supporting my dog as she began to search, I trailed after her like a Zombie, waiting for a sign -- were we in a search or just taking up space?  

As a result, we missed the only exterior hide.  My dog had a very obvious change of behavior but I handled her badly, pushing ahead rather than stopping or slowing to see why she had switched direction.  If I had been bold enough to take her off-leash, I expect she would have gotten it.  If I had handled her with any clue whatsoever, I expect she would have gotten it.

Once inside the main auditorium area, I took her off leash and then the magic started.  Ziva  went to work and found the four hides in the rows of chairs facing the big stage.  She sourced another on a handrail in the hallway, and then seemed to be thinking there was something "high" as well.  We went back up the stairs, to a very small space that housed the ladder up into what I expect is lighting and other theatrical tech space.  Ziva doesn't like dark and she doesn't like tight and this was very definitely both.  She had started into it on her own, but quickly backed out; I coaxed her into it with a treat but she spun and left as quick as she could, and I called "finish," feeling it was likely we'd missed some but knowing we'd at least found 5, hallelujah. 

So grateful, she still loves me even when I screw up!

There was one in the tiny room and Aleks noted that Ziva had given me an alert, but because I was worrying about her, I interpreted her lookback as a refusal to go any further.  

So, we didn't pass Detective.  But, you know what?  We could have!  And you know why we didn't?  Because I was not on my game, mentally, and I let Ziva down.  I didn't give her the credit she so richly deserves and I didn't support her as she deserves.  

I take notes on all our runs, of course,  I review webinars I've purchased about Detective.  My friends set up fabulous practices for us, and we have a truly incredible coach and weekly classes.  

However, as I described the day to my husband, I realized something.  I thought all our runs since the Endless Patio had sucked because I had become too time sensitive and was rushing my dog to try to avoid the "use up all our time on the first area" scenario.  But, in retrospect, those first four "oh so close!" trials were all off leash.  The next four were on leash by judge's direction due to the environment.  

It felt like someone took a 40 pound rock off my chest.  I mean, I try, I really do, but my handling is just awful and gets SO much worse when I'm nervous.  My brain just stops.  But the problem was definitely ME and my issues, and nothing that was wrong with my dog, mentally or physically.  

So, we're 1 for 10, now, which may be some kind of record (and not a good one).  But we've got some Detective runs coming up, with good judges who know odor and who set source-able hides.  If I can get my act together, there's no reason why we shouldn't pass.  And I need to get my act together, because Ziva deserves that.  She's got this, and I just need to trust in her and hold up my end of the partnership for a change.